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movie reviews
by karina montgomery
to 1998 Movie index

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1/27/98  Today's movie:  My rating:
Phantoms  Dollar Movie or Re-admit Pass
Distributed by Dimension Films & Miramax Films
MPAA rating:
PG, 95 minutes

I went into the theatre actually thinking I was going to see the boat movie with the slimy tentacular things; instead I got a mysteriously dead town with a stupid natural slimy thing.

Dean Koontz forces us to endure a not-so-gripping tale, peppered with his own screenplay touches as "The devil is here. I think he wants to dance with us." Dean, the author of the book this was based on, also had final say in director. So he chooses Joe Chappelle, best known (if at all) for ending the Halloween franchise (#6, which I saw - but maybe Kevin Williamson will resurrect it) and the Hellraiser Bloodlines. So naturally, he was the logical choice to helm Koontz's masterwork. The previews make this movie look awful.

So much for my rants about previews ruining movies - if I had paid
closer attention I would have skipped it. You guys probably all know by now how hard it is for me to be out and out cruel to a movie, and perhaps it is unfairly harsh to write my review before 7am. But I can't stress the concept any more strongly: Do not financially contribute to the potential success of this film. If it's any consolation, (I know you were all worried) I got in with a re-admit pass so no money passed hands from any of my companions or I. Turns out the only other person I know who saw this movie also used a re-admit pass.

Joanna Going (you know, the woman who looks like Jami Gertz) and Rose McGowan are sisters who discover Going's small town is all dead or vanished. Enter sheriff Ben Affleck (yes, Golden Globe winner Ben Affleck - FOR SCREENWRITING! You'd think he would have recognized the missing elements in the script) and his deputies, a guy who dies pretty early and Liev Schreiber (Screams, Walking & Talking). They bumble about in a macho fashion, Schreiber giving us far more character than he was written, and Affleck looking totally out of sorts in a big winter coat and cowboy hat. Our theory was that he did Chasing Amy, figured it would tour the indie circuit and disappear, and took the first "big screen" job handed to him, not imagining the hubbub over Good Will Hunting. Ah, youth.

The sad thing is (oh, dear readers, it gets sadder), the actors are giving us the best they can in a ludicrously boring movie. I can only fault them for accepting the job, and I know first hand how hard it is to turn down a job. Enter multi-Oscar nominee Peter O'Toole, in an eerie art-imitating life capacity as a respected scientist now writing for a tabloid to pay the bills. Oh Peter - whence Lawrence of Arabia?

The biggest laugh in the movie was generated by disgust with the Sphere preview and the ridiculous voice over for the upcoming Caught Up. Continuity was forgotten, never mind all the excessive silliness. I noticed a dead kid was named Tim Lindsay and the bullets were Lindsay and Lindsay brand - was that supposed to be important?

i struggle to find meaning!!! the movie was so disheartening that i wished i had seen spice world instead. so we went.

kids, this is what this kind of filmmaking can do to you. don't make the same mistake we did.


to 1998 Movie index


Rating System (from Best to Worst):
Full Price Feature
Matinee Price only
Definite Rental
Catch it on HBO
Just wait for the Network Premiere
Avoid at All Costs
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© 1998 Dimension Films, all rights reserved
© 1998 Miramax Films, all rights reserved

Movie Reviews by Karina Montgomery© 1998 Capitol City Publishing, LLC,
all rights reserved
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